How to work through heartache
Knowing how our brains work helps us work. But it’s not just about our brains, is it? Our brains respond to our nervous system, which is taking in information and regulating our bodies.
If we’re invested in our work, we can’t discount the role our hearts and souls play, especially if we seek work that feels meaningful. The adage, “It’s not personal, it’s business,” simply doesn’t add up. Most of us can’t draw a strict line between our lives and our work.
So, when we experience a state of shock or upset in our work or our life, it impacts our whole self. Right now, this year’s presidential election has shaken many of us at our core – bringing into question our belief systems, worldview, and aspirations for a better future.
The challenge of how we work through heartache is timely and it’s important. We’re going to experience it in some form many times over our lifetime, whether it’s working through a personal loss while grieving “on the job”, or facing a leader whose actions are in conflict with our personal values.
It’s all informed by our mind and our body – and right now, many of our minds and bodies feel frozen.
Three executive functioning skills to move through heartache
Executive functioning is our brain’s command center. It’s our ability to be able to make decisions and regulate our emotions. Executive functioning skills – including prioritizing, organizing, planning, etc. – are skills we use in our day-to-day lives, including our work. It supports:
How we work (when everything feels upside down),
How we start (when we’re feeling unsafe or unseen),
How we keep going (when we’re still upset),
Sure, it’s our brain, but it regulates our whole selves. Clinical neuropsychologist Dr. Ari Hall founder of Full Stack Psychology, suggests “executive functioning plays an integral role in our daily lives, whether we’re actively thinking about it or not.”
In the midst of heartache, how do we keep going? Dr. Hall offers up three quick, research-based executive functioning tips for accessing motivation and focus:
The Thought Record
Do you experience circling thoughts of dread?
The act of writing down our thoughts can help us process and breakdown unhelpful thought patterns:
When you’re stuck in a negative thought pattern, record your thoughts
For each negative thought, draft a reframed response that’s more productive or balanced
The Daily 3 Point Plan
Feeling too overwhelmed or anxious to focus?
Limit your focus and prioritize your activities to bring clarity:
List the three most important things to accomplish within your day
Keep the list intentionally small and manageable
Reward yourself when you’ve accomplished your priorities
The Two-Minute Rule
Lacking the willpower to tackle big priorities?
Taking on the small tasks first prevents overwhelm later:
If a task takes less than 2 minutes, do it now.
Clear any small tasks immediately to check these off your list
If it feels hard right now to work, start a job search, or keep going in the face of disillusion, you don’t have to rely on sheer willpower or wait for motivation to strike like lightning. You can take a pause, and intentionally use your executive functioning tools to move yourself forward.
Still waiting on a flash of motivation? We can help you clarify what meaningful work means for your work and life - and how to move forward to get there. Let’s connect!