The Pause
There is a seismic shift that happens in our careers that nobody talks about.
We start in our 20’s and continue working hard in our 30’s to build knowledge and skills. We develop relationships, learn to navigate organizations. We feel the stings and burns of working and living.
And at some point, we ask ourselves,
“Is this what I want to keep doing?”
“What actually is my value?
“How did I get here?”
We ask ourselves these questions – and sometimes it results in taking a pause.
What does it mean to pause?
From a dictionary definition, a pause is a short period of time when an action or activity is temporarily stopped or suspended. A pause is an intentional period of self-reflection and a slowing down to go inward. It allows feelings to bubble up and for you to reflect on what you know about yourself, your experiences, your life at this moment – and to hopefully use that information to meaningfully inform your career decisions.
Pausing does not mean staying still though – it is an active choice to:
Step into discomfort – assess past decisions or paths not taken
Face the hurts from our current situations – even when denying them or compartmentalizing feels so much easier
Stay committed to ourselves – instead of letting our job duties consume us
How do you know when it’s time to pause?
The funny thing about recognizing a pause is that oftentimes our bodies feel it before our conscious mind. The questions build up in fits and starts, sometimes coming out in middle-of-the-night worries. We experience a pain point – maybe our organization introduces a “re-org,” our job changes, our manager leaves. Sometimes layoffs or being let go catches us off guard, or we experience burnout and feel the physical and emotional pain.
As someone who talks to a lot of people who feel stuck, there are two main frames I hear before a pause. The first is when someone expresses a desire for greater autonomy that’s perhaps been bubbling and brewing for years. It sounds like:
‘I want to be proactive, instead of reactive’
‘I want to be intentional, instead of taking jobs as they come’
‘I feel like I’m on a career conveyer belt – I don’t even know what I’m good at anymore’
The other frame is when a person is in pain. It sounds like:
‘What I’m doing right now isn’t working’
‘I don’t like who I’m being for my family right now’
‘I’ve feel completely stuck and I don’t know how to get out’
What happens if we don’t take a pause
If we don’t acknowledge our feelings – whether our desire for something more meaningful or our expressions of pain – we remain stuck.
On an individual level, we know that the human costs of being stuck are stark. There are physical, emotional and mental costs of overwork, burnout, malaise and living out of alignment with our core values. And if you haven’t experienced it, you know someone who has.
On a grander scale, our world needs more people who are living and leading from a place of empowerment, autonomy and joy – and it’s not possible to be in a state of thriving when you are barely surviving 40+ hours a week.
A pause is a normal part of our career lifecycle
I often say that Reframe started because I was tired of seeing incredibly brilliant, thoughtful, kind and compassionate women working in jobs where they were overqualified, undervalued and underpaid, and lacking the confidence and proper leadership training to thrive.
But to be frank, I’m actually furious that we don't normalize the pause for everyone and make it clear that it’s part of a normal life cycle of your career. When you realize your career power, you get to choose your path – and that can start with something as accessible as a pause.
What works
In the face of pain or desire for meaning, it might seem pretty easy to pause, right? But in this life we’ll always find something else to draw our attention towards, or a list of reasons why we’re too busy. (It’s not as if our leaders model taking a pause, or our organizations reward it - quite the opposite)
But, a pause does work. There a few different paths you can take:
Plan a sabbatical. Whether accessing a formal sabbatical from your organization, or pooling paid and unpaid leave to create an extended period of time away from your day to day job, the goal is for your leave to be both restorative and informative. Even if your organization doesn’t have a stated policy, it’s worth exploring how to make the case.
Consider short-term medical or disability leave. If you are working with a provider on health conditions that are related to your work, you might investigate taking a leave of absence on medical grounds. While we may consider this type of leave for physical health conditions, increasingly I talk to individuals taking leave for mental health and symptoms of burnout.
Invest in coaching or formal career reflection. While individual career coaching can lead to huge shifts and greater self-awareness, the same transformation can come through group coaching with others who are going through their own pauses. And as a bonus, you get connection and community along the way.
Taking a pause is a personal decision, but it isn’t something you need to do on your own. I’ve witnessed it result in clarity, ease and joy - and it can happen to you, too. If you are considering a pause and want to talk it through, reach out.